They're Singing What?
by tomboy14
Summary: 100 song that you would never expect the Naruto crew to sing, especially in some of these situations! Great fic for laughs! Similar to Random Conversations with Naruto and Crew. Multiple pairings, main ShikaIno. OOC and Crack!ed up at times.
1. Honkeytonk Badonkadonk

**AN: New cracked up fic time!!! lol this is entirely made up by me and Haru (my little brother for those that don't read Random Conversations with Naruto and Crew). It is songs we would never think of a Naruto character singing in odd situations! lol Anyways, you'll find out soon enough!!! Aki is me BTW!!! **

_italics _is song lyrics

**Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto. Or the Honkey Tonk Badonkadonk. O.o This chapter's idea was mine.**

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At a party with all the Naruto Crew, Haru, and Aki at a dance club/bar thingy **

Sakura: -pole dancing-

Aki: -gives Sakura and O.o glance- OMG I just had the craziest idea!!!

Shika: What now?

Aki: Well, I was thinking about songs that you would probably never catch one of the Naruto characters singing.

Haru: Here we go again.

Ino: Hey! Shut it Haru! Please continue, Aki-chan!!!

Aki: Alright, so do you think we would ever catch Hinata singing Hon—

DJ Person: Alright, its karaoke night and up now is the young heiress…Hyuuga Hinata!!

-Crowd Cheers-

Aki: Oh my God is she—

Hinata: -stares at Sakura who is still pole dancing with a dark gleam in her eyes-

_Turn it up some  
Alright boys, this is her favorite song  
You know that right  
So, if we play it good and loud  
She might get up and dance again  
Ooh, she put her beer down  
Here she comes  
Here she comes  
Left left left right left  
Whoo_

_Husslers shootin' eight ball  
Throwin' darts at the wall  
Feelin' damn near 10 ft. tall  
Here she comes, Lord help us all  
Ol' T.W.'s girlfriend done slapped him outta his chair  
Poor ole boy, it ain't his fault  
It's so hard not to stare  
At that honky tonk badonkadonk  
Keepin' perfect rhythm  
Make ya wanna swing along  
Got it goin' on  
Like Donkey Kong  
And whoo-wee  
Shut my mouth, slap your grandma  
There outta be a law  
Get the Sheriff on the phone  
Lord have mercy, how'd she even get them britches on  
That honky tonk badonkadonk  
(Aww son)_

Hinata: -points at Sakura and starts shaking her hips to the beat of the song-

_Now Honey, you can't blame her  
For what her mama gave her  
It ain't right to hate her  
For workin' that money-maker  
Band shuts down at two  
But we're hangin' out till three  
We hate to see her go  
But love to watch her leave  
With that honky tonk badonkadonk  
Keepin' perfect rhythm  
Make ya wanna swing along  
Got it goin' on  
Like Donkey Kong  
And whoo-wee  
Shut my mouth, slap your grandma  
There outta be a law  
Get the Sheriff on the phone  
Lord have mercy, how'd she even get them britches on  
With that honky tonk badonkadonk  
(Ooh, that's what I'm talkin' bout right there, honey)_

_We don't care about the drinkin'  
Barely listen to the band  
Our hands, they start a shakin'  
When she gets the urge to dance  
Drivin' everybody crazy  
You think you fell in love  
Boys, you better keep your distance  
You can look but you can't touch  
That honkey tonk badonkadonk  
Keepin' perfect rhythm  
Make ya wanna swing along  
Got it goin' on  
Like Donkey Kong  
And whoo-wee  
Shut my mouth, slap your grandma  
There outta be a law  
Get the Sheriff on the phone  
Lord have mercy, how'd she even get them britches on  
That honky tonk badonkadonk_

_That honky tonk badonkadonk  
Yeah, that honky tonk badonkadonk_

_(That's it, right there boys, that's why we do what we do  
It ain't for the money, it ain't for the glory, it ain't for the free whiskey  
It's for the badonkadonk)_

-Everything Stops and Stares at Hinata…Including Sakura-

Hinata: -does finger-poke thing and walks off stage almost falling over-

Ino, Shika, and Haru: Don't tell me that you were thinking…

Aki: Yep. I thought I would never catch Hinata singing the Honkey Tonk Badonkadonk while watching Sakura dance…

Hinata: -faints because she was drunk coincidentally-

Shika: Never think that or anything similar again!!!

Me: Why? It is seriously funny. Although this kinda scares me…

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AN: Yeah, so really random but tell me what you think. Haru's idea I like a lot better for next chapter. lol anyways, reviews please!! **


	2. Somebody Told Me

**AN: Already a new chapter!! Ok, so you know, I really do love Hinata! She's one of my favorite characters! The thought just came to me while I was re-heating a double cheeseburger from McDonald's for lunch. lol This time the plot is Haru's! And thank you to all of my reviewers from last chapter! Your compliments and support, and some ideas, meant a lot to me! I thought I would get a ton of flames, but not one! Thanks again!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto. This is Haru's plot. So I don't own nothing. Dammit!**

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Walking Down the Streets of Konoha **

Shika and Ino: -walking down the street holding hands-

Neji and Tenten: -walking down the street holding hands behind Shika and Ino-

Aki and Haru: -trailing right behind them chatting like the good brother and sister we are-

Sakura: -jumps out of bushes- AHA!!!

Everyone but Neji: -stare at her o.O-

Neji: -glares-

Ino: Uh...hello Sakura?

Sakura: I KNEW IT!!!

Aki and Haru: -speak simultaneously- Knew what?

Sakura: Weell…

_Somebody told me  
You had a boyfriend  
Who looked like a girlfriend_

Shika and Neji: HEY!!!

_  
That I had in February of last year_

Tenten: Hyuuga Neji! You have some explaining to do!

Neji: Hn. But it's part of the song!

_It's not confidential  
I've got potential_

_Ready? Let's roll onto something new  
Taking its toll and I'm leaving without you  
I'm ready, let's roll onto something new  
But heaven ain't close in a place like this  
Anything goes but don't think you might live_

_'Cause heaven ain't close in a place like this  
I said heaven ain't close in a place like this  
Bring it back down, bring it back down tonight  
Never thought I'd let a rumor ruin my moonlight_

Aki: What rumor?

_Well somebody told me  
You had a boyfriend  
Who looked like a girlfriend_

Shika: I resent that…-crosses arms over his chest and does scowl/pout thing-

_  
That I had in February of last year_

Ino: Nara Shikamaru! What did Sakura do with you in February?!

Shika: Nothing! Why would I go out with Sakura when I love you?

Ino: Aw, Shika-kun…-blushes-

Shika: -smirks like the cocky genius he is-

_  
It's not confidential  
I've got potential  
A rushin', a rushin' around _

Pace yourself for me  
I said maybe baby please  
But I just don't know now  
When all I wanna do is try

x3  
Somebody told me  
You had a boyfriend  
Who looked like a girlfriend  
That I had in February of last year  
It's not confidential  
I've got potential  
A rushin', a rushin' around

Haru: What have I done? I knew I shouldn't have told Sakura that Shikamaru and Ino were going out.

Aki: And I knew I shouldn't have spread the news of Neji and Tenten's relationship.

Shika, Ino, Neji, and Tenten: Who doesn't know that we're going out? I thought it was obvious.

Sakura: So, um, you're going out, huh? Congratulations! –runs away at the speed of light-

Aki: Well, I guess we got rid of her and her obliviousness!

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AN: Yeah, so Haru's original idea was for it to just be Shika and Ino, but Neji always gets jokes about being a girly-man, so I thought I'd throw in some NejiTen. That is my second favorite Naruto pairing BTW!!! Well, reviews are greatly appreciated (I know some people are reading and not reviewing -glares-)! No flames! And most importantly thanks for reading! **


	3. Who Let the Dogs Out

**AN: I'm onto number three!!!! Sorry about the late update. Most of you know about the problems fanfiction was having with uploading documents. lol Anyways, I have been getting so many requests and ideas for future songs! Now, I absolutely love getting ideas, but please hold off until I finish random song number five. I still have requests to fulfill after this one.**

**Dedication: Dedicated to Fumei-824 who gave me this idea! She always reviews my fanfics!! Thanks for the hilarious idea, and I hope you like the random twist I put on it.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto which belongs to Masashi Kishimoto, the song Who Let the Dogs Out? by the Baja Men, or the plot which belongs to Fumei. Damn this sucks even more than usual –goes to quietly sulk in abandoned corner-**

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At the Place Where the Final Part of the Chunin Exams Were Held**

Aki: Ok, quick question, why the hell is there a Cat Convention in Konoha?

Ino: Because you thought of one?

Aki: Oh yeah. Why the hell did I think up a Cat Convention in Konoha?

Shika: Because you're an idiot.

Aki: Hey! Need I remind you of the whole over 140 IQ at the age of 13?

Shika: No. But need I remind you of my IQ of 200+ at 12? And that was when they first discovered it! I may have been that smart as a baby!

Aki: Well sorry, Mr. I'm-such-a-nerd-and-have-to-brag-about-a-freakin-screwed-up-IQ-test-performed-by-a-dead-guy!! (R.I.P. Asuma-sensei!!!)

Ino: Hey! Don't make fun of Shika-kun!

Haru: Here we go again. –exasperated tone-

Aki, Shika, and Ino: -arguing…even though it's too troublesome-

Haru: Aki-neechan, haven't we gotten a little bit off topic here?

Aki: Oh yeah hehehe –scratches the back of my neck- sorry. –sheepish tone-

Announcer Guy: -dull tone- And here are the finest cats of the land of Fi—

-CRASH!!!-

-Dogs start to chase the cats. And the leader of it is…Akamaru?-

Kiba: NO!!!!!!!! Get back here!

-music starts to play-

Aki: Oh yeah! Now I remember! I made this up so—

Kiba: -breaks out in song-

_Who let the dogs out  
(woof, woof, woof, woof)  
(woof, woof, woof, woof)  
(woof, woof, woof, woof)  
(woof, woof, woof, woof)_

_Who let the dogs out (woof, woof, woof, woof)  
Who let the dogs out (woof, woof, woof, woof)_

_(woof, woof, woof, woof)_

-Kiba's family jumps in the middle of the mayhem next to Kiba-

_When the party was nice, the party was jumpin' (Hey, Yippie, Yi, Yo)  
And everybody havin' a ball (Hah, ho, Yippie Yi Yo)  
I tell the fellas "start the name callin'" (Yippie Yi Yo)  
And the girls report to the call  
The poor dog show down_

Kiba and family:

_Who let the dogs out (woof, woof, woof, woof)  
Who let the dogs out (woof, woof, woof, woof)  
Who let the dogs out (woof, woof, woof, woof)  
Who let the dogs out (woof, woof, woof, woof)_

Kiba's Mom:

_I see ya' little speed boat head up our coast  
She really want to skip town  
Get back off me, beast off me  
Get back you flea infested monger_

Kiba and Family:

_Who let the dogs out (woof, woof, woof, woof)  
Who let the dogs out (woof, woof, woof, woof)  
Who let the dogs out (woof, woof, woof, woof)  
Who let the dogs out (woof, woof, woof, woof)_

Kiba:

_I'm gonna tell Hey, Yippie, Yi, Yo  
To any girls calling them canine Yippie, Yi, Yo  
Tell the dummy "Hey Man, It's part of the Party!" Yippie Yi, Yo  
You fetch a women in front and her mans behind Yippie, Yi, Yo  
Her bone runs out now_

Kiba and Family:

_Who let the dogs out (woof, woof, woof, woof)  
Who let the dogs out (woof, woof, woof, woof)  
Who let the dogs out (woof, woof, woof, woof)  
Who let the dogs out (woof, woof, woof, woof)_

_Say, A doggy is nuttin' if he don't have a bone  
All doggy hold ya' bone, all doggy hold it  
A doggy is nuttin' if he don't have a bone  
All doggy hold ya' bone, all doggy hold it_

_Wait for y'all my dogs, the party is on  
I gotta get my girl I got my myind on  
Do you see the rays comin' from my eye  
What could you be friend  
That Benji man that's breakin' them down?  
Me and My white short shorts  
And I can't seek a lot, any canine will do  
I'm figurin' that's why they call me faithful  
'Cause I'm the man of the land  
When they see me they doah-ooooo(howl)_

Kiba and Family:

_Who let the dogs out (woof, woof, woof, woof)  
Who let the dogs out (woof, woof, woof, woof)  
Who let the dogs out (woof, woof, woof, woof)  
Who let the dogs out (woof, woof, woof, woof)_

Akamaru: -listened to song and doesn't like what Kiba said about him, so he leaves-

Kiba: NOO!! AKAMARU!!! I didn't mean it, buddy!! It's all her fault!! –points to me-

Aki: ME?! Well you sang it! –crosses arms and scoffs- Pff, and I used to like you.

Kiba: -runs after Akamaru after flipping me off-

Aki: -mumbles to self about Kiba being an evil dog-loving gay bastard-

Shika: What did I tell you about thinking up these weird songs for people to sing?

Aki: Not my fault this time! This was a request! And I loved it! Of course, I put my own spin on it…

Ino: You never know when to quit. Why do we still hang out with you?

Shika: Because we are forced to. And she may never encourage ShikaIno again, and may pair me with that _Temari_. –shivers-

Aki: Damn straight. But I don't think I could ever like ShikaTema. I'm more of a SasuTema fan if Temari has to be paired with someone. Or ShinoTema. Or even TemaChou. I prefer SasuTema and ShinoTema though…

Ino: TMI TMI TMI!!!!! (that is Too Much Information by the way if you don't know…lol)

Haru: Aki-neechan, you got way off topic again…and forgot about me.

Aki: Sorry Haru. I love you though. -hugs him while he glares at me- Anyways, I'm just going to leave this place. It's staring to smell like shit from the dog and cat dropping. –pinches nose and transports to comfort of my room with laptop on lap while laying on my bed-

**At Arena Again**

Ino and Shika: -do that cool _poof_ in a cloud of smoke thing and transport away to their bedroom to do stuff…your choice of what-

**Back to Me in My Room**

Aki: I feel like I'm forgetting something though…

**At Arena**

Haru: -really pissed- AKI!!!! –gets surrounded by angry dogs and cats-

**My Room**

Aki: Did I just hear something? -all smiles- Oh well! –goes back to laptop- Ooh! Fanfiction update!!! YAY!!!

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AN: And there is my very random chapter. I got off topic a lot . But you know me. xD Hope you liked it and please review! Remember, no more idea suggections for the time being. Just hold em til after chapter 5!!! Thanks for reading!**


	4. If You Were Gay

**AN: Yo. Not the rapper "Yo" but in Japanese "Yo" means "Hey," so I'm saying "Hey." lol anyways, I'm sorry for the long-awaited update. Fanfiction wouldn't allow me to upload documents. I'm sure almost all of you have experienced this problem. I know a few have because you PMed me and asked what the problem was. Then alerts were being dysfunctional, so I decided to wait to post this chapter until they were back because it is so damn good!!! As said by Angel, I am the Queen of Random. lol Anyways, this is for once not a ShikaIno. It is a parody kinda thing, requested by SarcasticallyTroublesomeGirl, my very good friend and a very loyal reader and reviewer. I am so excited to do this one that I couldn't wait! Sorry for the other people that gave me ideas.**

**Dedication: Dedicated to the absolutely spectacular SarcasticallyTroublesomeGirl. Thanks for the idea and I hope you like what I've done with this!!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, K. Masashi does, and I don't own "If You Were Gay" O.o which belongs to Avenue Q I guess. I guess you all are very interested on where this one is gonna go…**

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At the Hyuuga Estate/Mansion thingy **

Aki and Tenten: -walking around the Hyuuga estate/mansion…thingy…-

Aki: Alright, so I am completely bored. Why the hell am I here at the Hyuuga mansion?

Tenten: To apologize to poor Hinata-chan for chapter 1.

Aki: -scratches back of neck- Oh yeah…hehehe sorry 'bout that.

Tenten: -scoffs and crosses arms-

Tenten and Aki: -walks into Hinata's room-

**One Hour Later**

Aki: Wow, I feel so bad right now! But every one of my reviewers found it so hilarious!

Tenten: Just watch what you say about Hinata. Hey, wait a minute, where's Haru?

Aki: Oh yeah, he's at home. I'm leaving him to his stupid television shows. It's not like we're even watching old Naruto episodes! He's watching South Park, Jackass, Viva La Bam, and some other stuff that is very inappropriate for someone his age, although all his friends watch it too. Pff, parents these days are so lenient.

Tenten: Oh.

Tenten and Aki: -walk past Neji's door to see that it is slightly ajar. look as each other with an evil smirk on our faces- Shh! –peek into Neji's room-

Neji: Aah, an afternoon alone with my favorite book, "Destiny and Fate: Controlling Our Lives One Step at a Time." No team to bother me. How could it get any better than this? –opens book-

Aki and Tenten: -look at each other with curious gazes and scoot closer to the door for a better look-

Lee: -jumps in through window- Hello, my YOUTHFUL teammate Neji!!!

Neji: -annoyed tone- Hi Lee.

Lee: Neji, you will never guess what happened to me on the way back from my latest mission. This youthful Anbu man was smiling at me and talking to me.

Neji: -glares- That's very interesting, Lee. –sarcastic/mocking tone…you know the one!-

Lee: The youthful man was being real friendly, and I think he was coming on to me! I think, he might've though I was _gay_.

Tenten and Me: -glance at each other and hold in giggles-

Neji: And you aren't? –ahem- So why are you telling me this? Do you think I care? Because…I don't…

Lee: Well, it's just that this made me start to think my youthful friend, and no offense to you, but with the way you dress and all, not to mention your _hair_…

Neji: -glares- Lee, what are you getting at?

Lee: I just think that this is something we should be able to talk about!

Neji: Lee—

Lee: Sooo…

_IF YOU WERE GAY  
THAT'D BE OKAY.  
I MEAN 'CAUSE, HEY,  
I'D LIKE YOU ANYWAY.  
BECAUSE YOU SEE,  
IF IT WERE ME,  
I WOULD FEEL FREE  
TO SAY THAT I WAS GAY  
(BUT I'M NOT GAY.)_

Tenten and Aki: -thinking- OMFG…

Neji: I am trying to read_—_

Lee:

_IF YOU WERE QUEER_

Neji: Oh dear Kami-sama…

Lee:

_I'D STILL BE HERE,_

Neji: Lee, I'm trying to read this book, and then I have some mission scrolls to review—

Lee:

_YEAR AFTER YEAR_

Tenten and Aki: O.o

Neji: …Hn…

Lee:

_BECAUSE YOU'RE DEAR  
TO ME!_

Neji: -starting to get pissed and lose his ice-cube demeanor- Grrr!

Lee:

_AND I KNOW THAT YOU_

Neji: _What!?_

Lee:

_WOULD ACCEPT ME TOO,_

Neji: I would? -smirks at his genius comeback-

Lee:

_IF I TOLD YOU TODAY,  
"HEY! GUESS WHAT,  
I'M GAY!"  
(BUT I'M NOT GAY.) _

I'M HAPPY  
JUST BEING WITH YOU.

Neji: -starts to mumble to self while eye twitches- Fate. Destiny. Fate. Destiny. FATE! DESTINY!! GAH!!!

Lee:

_SO WHAT SHOULD IT  
MATTER TO ME  
WHAT YOU DO IN BED  
WITH GUYS?_

Neji: Lee, that's disgusting! I told you that picture of Nara and me was fanart!

Lee: No, my youthful friend it's not disgusting. And I wasn't even referring to that picture.

_IF YOU WERE GAY  
I'D SHOUT HOORAY!_

Neji: I am not listening to this. –attempts to read book-

Lee:

_AND HERE I'D STAY,_

Neji: -slams book shut- They need to make a jutsu to block ones ears from hearing…

Lee:

_BUT I WOULDN'T GET  
IN YOUR WAY._

Neji: Gah! I mean…Hn…

Lee:

_YOU CAN COUNT ON ME  
TO ALWAYS BE  
BESIDE YOU EVERY DAY,  
TO TELL YOU IT'S OKAY,  
YOU WERE JUST BORN  
THAT WAY,  
AND, AS THEY SAY,  
IT'S IN YOUR DNA,  
YOU'RE GAY!_

Neji: -all hopes of him becoming an ice-cube again lost-

_BUT I'M NOT GAY!_

Lee: If you were gay.

Neji: Argh! –collapses onto his bed-

Aki and Tenten: -rolling in the hallway laughing-

Lee: -opens door to reveal us- What are my youthful friends Aki-chan and Tenten-chan doing here?

Neji: -realizes people are outside his door- Hn. –becomes an ice-cube again and pretends nothing just happened-

Aki and Tenten: -look at each other, then Neji, then back at each other; shouting and pointing- IF YOU WERE GAY!!! –rolling on the floor laughing again-

Neji: Hn. How troublesome.

Aki: Hey! That's Shika-kun's line!

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AN: THE END!!! lol hope everyone liked that one. It was so hilarious and fun to write. Haru loved reading it! I couldn't resist the jab on that ShikaNeji pic (link on my profile) Oh, and Autumn's Snow, hope this made you feel better! Well, please review and thanks for reading! **


	5. Cuppycake

**AN: Hey! Well, I would have to say that I absolutely loved my last chapter, but barely anyone reviewed! –cries hysterically- and I was so proud of it too! Grr! Only 2 review. But its better than none. I would really appreciate it if you would go back a review that chapter. PLEASE?! –puppy dog eyes- **

**Now, I have something to express. I am so sorry to Shikamaru's Babe645 for bashing ShikaTema and Temari. I was on a role and it came to me, and to the majority of the readers and reviewers usually, they want ShikaTema and Temari bashing because, well, we support ShikaIno!! But it's still not an excuse. But you don't really bash ShikaIno (I think…lol) so I'm sorry. Thank you for reviewing my chapters and being loyal to me through my random fics! **

**Dedication: Dedicated to SarcasticallyTroublesomeGirl for always reviewing, especially last chapter, Shikamaru's Babe645 for reviewing my fics, especially last chapter, and DynamicChaos!!! DC!!! Thank you for the hilarious idea for this chapter!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto or this song I got the idea to use form DC. You'll find out what it is soon enough...**

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Big Party for My Birthday (which is in a few days XD) With Everyone There **

_-by the gift table chatting-_

Aki: You know what?

Shika: -bored- What?

Aki: I'm feeling random today!!!

Shika: When are you not feeling random?

Ino: Shika-kun! That's rude! Even though it's true, Aki-chan is trying to tell us something!

Aki: -huffs and crosses arms and turns away- Thanks for sticking up for me Ino.

Ino: No problem! –totally oblivious-

Shika and Aki: o.O

Shika: Ooookaaay…

Aki: Um, yeah. So anyways, about my random mood, I had the craziest dream last night!

Everyone: -groans-

Aki: Shut it! I'm the birthday girl you're talking to! And I did!

Shika: What's new…?

Aki: Anyways, it was sooo awesome! –XD-

Shika: -mumbles to self while crossing arms and doing scowl/pout thing that is so cute-

Ino: Shika-kun, do I need to make you shut up?!

Shika: -evil/perverted smirk- Maybe…

Aki: Alrighty then! Damn, real perverted Shika-kun is better than the perverted Shika-kun of Ara-chan (ArAshiMitArAshi) and my dreams!

Shika: You dreamt of a perverted me?

Me: No! That was last week!

Shika: o.O –slowly backs away from me-

Aki: Joking! Or was I? –lol-ing- So anyways, last night I dreams about the one person I have been dying to see!

Ino: -guessing- Shika-kun?

Aki: No! I can see Shika-kun whenever I want, but nice guess!

Ino: Kiba?

Aki: Hell no! After he flipped me off a few chapters ago, I officially do not like him anymore.

Shika: You thought of it in the first place.

Ino: Nara Shikamaru!

Shika: …

Aki: Oh, I'll tell you! It's Orlando Bloom in the 3rd Pirates of the Caribbean! It comes out in late May! I'm getting tickets ASAP!!!

Shika: And I thought you were obsessed with me! How troublesome.

Aki: I am, but I'm more obsessed with you than Orlando.

Shika: Crazed fan girl wannabe…your even more troublesome than Ino.

Ino: -slams fists down on gift table and boxes jump with table, but miraculously land in the same position- That's it! You have insulted Aki-chan for the last time! I'm going to shut you up once and for all! –advances towards Shika-

Shika: -thinking pervy thoughts and internally screams- HELL YEAH!

Aki: Oh gawd, this is gonna get ugly.

Ino: -bypasses Shika and brushes shoulders with him while walking over to the DVD player that magically appeared, and puts a DVD in it-

Shika: Is that? NOOOO!!!!!!

**-On Tape-**

_Shika: -kneels in front of Ino, takes her hands, and starts to sing-_

_**You're my Honeybunch, Sugarplum  
**__**Pumpy-umpy-umpkin, You're my Sweetie Pie  
**__**You're my Cuppycake, Gumdrop  
**__**Snoogums-Boogums, You're the Apple of my Eye  
**__**And I love you so and I want you to know  
**__**That I'll always be right here  
**__**And I love to sing sweet songs to you  
**__**Because you are so dear**_

_Ino: -starts to laugh and cry while hugging Shika-_

**-End Tape-**

Everyone but Shika: -rolling on the floor laughing; group rofl is awesome XD-

Shika: -blushing- How troublesome. –stands up with all the dignity he can muster and walks out of room-

Aki: -wipes the tears from her eyes- Thanks for acting like a dumb blonde for a while in the beginning, and then torturing Shika! I thought that was a genjutsu, but he actually did that to you?! And you got it on tape?! –hugs Ino- You rock!

Ino: Oh, yes he did! Let's just say Shika-kun can be very emotional. Or that he's whipped!

Everyone: -rofl-ing again at this statement-

Ino: And no problem! Shika-kun needs some embarrassment every now and then!

**

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AN: Thank you DC for the lyrics! Hope I put a nice twist on it and that everyone, especially you DC, like it! Or are atleast laughing or smiling a it! lol well please review! It fuels my author power! lol where do I get this stuff? **


	6. Girlfriend

**AN: Starting a new one. Yeah, these are easier to do than my regular fics lol. I regret pushing them off, its just that I lose my inspiration. But I promise you all that I will finish them, The Horrors of a Fan Club, then My Super Sweet Sixteen. This and RCNC will be updated more often than those because I have inspiration for these two fics. I know this new chapter took a while, but exams are coming up, not to mention I've gotten a crap-load of homework, which I should be doing right now. lol But after I complete those I will finish off my collections. So anyways, another request! So I'm doing it! Remember, save your ideas for me until after I finish this chapter, because I'm in overload! I appreciate them so much! lol Thanks in advance!**

**Dedication: Dedicated to Miko Elderkin for the idea. I always thought that Sasuke was such a wannabe pimp. lol maybe that'll explain.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto by K. Masashi, or the edited version of the song "Girlfriend" by Avril Lavigne (I love that song! I got her new CD).**

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At a Bar in Konoha**

Aki: Why are we at a bar? In my random fics, I'm not old enough to drink! This chapter I'm only 17!

Ino: Lighten up, Aki-chan! And deal with it! I'm only 17 in this chapter too!

Shika: Why must women be so troublesome? –takes a sip of his sake and is unaffected-

Aki: Well, sorry! I've never drank alcohol in this fic, and I'm trying to be responsible, so shut it! Obviously I don't drink enough to know I have an alcoholic-toleration like some people I know.

Shika: -mumbles to himself and turns away-

Ino: Well, you be _responsible_ –uses air quotes on _responsible_- while I go get myself a drink!

Shika: -grabs Ino's wrist as she starts to walk off- Oh no you don't! I'm not listening to your complaining tomorrow about having a hangover! You can't tolerate alcohol like I can.

Aki: AHA! I knew you've drunk before. Tsk, tsk, shame on you Shika-kun!

Shika: Can we just get off my drinking habits! You're boring the readers to death probably!

Aki: Fine! Be that way! Anyways, like what I was going to say next was, if all the Naruto ninja are here, where's Sasuke? I know he went off with Orochimaru and then started that Snake group thingy, but all his comrades are here, and Naruto received a letter from him stating he would be here!

Ino: That's a good question!

Shika: Why should we care about that ba—

DJ: Alright, we have a special visitor tonight that is going to sing something!

Shika and Ino: Just let me guess…

Sasuke: -supposedly sexy smirk but just isn't working for the ladies-

_Hey! Hey! You! You!_

_I don't like your boyfriend_

-points at Sakura and Sai-

Sakura: When did I start to go out with Sai! Sasuke-kun, I would never stop loving you! –starts to beg for Sasuke's attention-

Sasuke: -sees that Sakura was too easy so he goes over to Hinata-

_No way! No Way!_

_I think you need a new one_

Hinata: -grips onto Naruto-

Naruto: -flips Sasuke off for trying to steal his girlfriend-

Sasuke: -sees that Hinata is unaffected, and doesn't want to get beat up by Naruto-

Aki: Oh dear lord.

Sasuke: -sees Ino, smirks at remembering her fan girl-ness, and walks over-

_Hey! Hey! You! You!_

_I could be your boyfriend_

_Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I know that you like me  
No way! No way!  
You know it's not a secret  
Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I want to be your boyfriend_

Ino: Did he just…?

Shika: -watching this happen and face becomes hidden in shadow-

Aki: Uh-oh. –grabs popcorn- This is gonna get interesting. HELL YEAH!! Sas-gay is gonna get his ass kicked!

Sasuke: -continues to sing to Ino-

_You're so fine  
I want you mine  
You're so delicious  
I think about ya all the time  
You're so addictive  
Don't you know what I could do to make you feel alright?  
Don't pretend I think you know I'm damn precious  
And Hell Yeah  
I'm the m f-in princess  
I can tell you like me too and you know I'm right_

Ino: -staring at him like he's crazy-

Shika: -makes a fist with his hand, raises his head, and jealousy is written all over his face-

Sasuke: -jumps off stage and takes Ino's hand-

_He's like so whatever  
And you could do so much better  
I think we should get together now  
And that's what everyone's talking about!_

Ino: Uh, Sas-gay, can you get the hell away from me?

Sasuke: -still singing-

_Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I don't like your boyfriend!  
No way! No way!  
I think you need a new one  
Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I could be your boyfriend _

Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I know that you like me  
No way! No way!  
You know it's not a secret  
Hey! Hey! You! You!  
I want to be your boyfriend

Shika: That's it! –grabs the Uchiha by the collar of his shirt-

Sasuke: -stops singing- What the hell is your problem, Nara?!

Shika: I'll tell you what my problem is! You're hitting on my girlfriend!

Sasuke: Ino's going out with _you_?! –starts to laugh uncontrollably-

Shika: Grr! –punches Sas-gay in the face and knocks him to the ground-

Ino: Shika-kun! You just punched Sas-gay!

Shika: Ino, I'm so—

Ino: Why didn't you let me punch him first?

Shika: Huh? –stares dumbfounded at Ino, which is completely OOC for him-

Ino: YAY!!! I made Shika-kun dumbfounded!

Aki: o.O –eating popcorn at an alarming rate-

Shika: …Yeah…Can we go now?

Ino: Yeah! I don't feel like being around that gay loser anymore! –flips hair over her shoulder and grabs Shika's arm-

Sasuke: -groans-

Shika and Ino: -leave bar with their arms linked-

Aki: Anyone gonna get that, cuz I'm not…

Sakura: I WILL!!! Sasuke-kun, I'll nurse you back to health!!

Sasuke: -groans-

Sakura: -picks Sasuke up and throws him over her shoulder- Now it's time for some one-on-one treatment! –giggles-

Sasuke: -glares at me- Damn you Nara for not killing me. It would have been so much easier…

Aki: Thanks Sakura! Now, Sas-gay and Sakura, be careful! –giggles as I go the way Ino and Shika went to catch up with them-

Sakura: Oh, I will. –runs away to have some one-on-one treatment with Sasuke-

**

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AN: The "Queen of Random" strikes again with something so random and OOC that it's awesome!!! Thanks, Angel, for my new title lol I love it! Well, I hope you enjoyed this! It was very fun to write! Please review, and thanks for reading!**


	7. Because You Loved Me

**AN: I know I should be writing my other stories, but this idea came to me, I haven't updated this in a while, and I really need a break from the other ones. You should be happy I'm spending my break writing, instead of watching MTV all day with Haru. btw Haru isn't gonna be in this chapter. He's on break from fanfiction until the next chapter of RCNC. lol**

**Dedication: To Pips12 for the idea! Thank you so much for the idea and all the reviews on my stories lately!**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto do you really think I would be writing this? Hell no! I'd be making this real!**

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**

**On the Streets of Konoha **

Aki: God I'm bored! Since Haru is away on vacation to St. Louis, Missouri to watch the Cardinal's play and maybe get a Pujols autograph, I don't have anyone to torture. –light bulb appears above head- Wait! I'm in Konoha, I'll go bug Shika-kun and Ino-chan! –takes off running towards the cloud watching hill-

**At Cloud Watching Hill**

Ino: Where is Shika-kun! I told him to meet me here at 5 o'clock, and it's 10 past! –pouts and crosses arms while plopping down on the grass- This is so like him!

Aki: -hiding in a tree not too far away; thinking- Damn, no Shika-kun to bug. And bugging Ino-chan alone is no fun. It's only fun when the other girls are here.

Shika: -comes walking lazily up the hill with hands behind back hiding something- Sorry I'm late, Ino-chan. I got held up in a meeting with Tsunade-sama about that mission Aki dragged us on. (**AN: See RCNC latest chapters called Mission: Rescue Temari!**)

Aki: -thinking- Grrr, that mission was important! Why I oughta—

Ino: It's all right, Shika-kun. There's just a little something I wanted to do for you…

Shika: -gets glazed look on face from pervy thoughts-

Ino: Shika!! Not like that! Geez, no more hanging out with that Mormon (DynamicChaos) and the Perv-author (SMGstring)!

Aki: -thinking- Uh-oh, they insulted DC and Stalker-sama. –shrugs- Eh, blame it on Shika.

Shika: But—

Ino: No buts! Now, can I please get on with this! –clasps hand in front of her and does puppy dog eyes-

Shika: Of course, Ino-chan.

Aki: -thinking- Whipped!! Hmm, I wonder what she's gonna do…

Ino: -walks over to Shika and grabs his hands-

Aki: -pulls out video camera she had stashed with her; still thinking- I have a feeling this is gonna be good…

Ino: -singing-

_For all those times you stood by me  
For all the truth that you made me see  
For all the joy you brought to my life  
For all the wrong that you made right  
For every dream you made come true  
For all the love I found in you  
I'll be forever thankful baby  
You're the one who held me up  
Never let me fall  
You're the one who saw me through through it all _

_You were my strength when I was weak  
You were my voice when I couldn't speak  
You were my eyes when I couldn't see  
You saw the best there was in me  
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach  
You gave me faith 'coz you believed  
I'm everything I am  
Because you loved me _

_You gave me wings and made me fly  
You touched my hand I could touch the sky  
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me  
You said no star was out of reach  
You stood by me and I stood tall  
I had your love I had it all  
I'm grateful for each day you gave me  
Maybe I don't know that much  
But I know this much is true  
I was blessed because I was loved by you _

_You were my strength when I was weak  
You were my voice when I couldn't speak  
You were my eyes when I couldn't see  
You saw the best there was in me  
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach  
You gave me faith 'coz you believed  
I'm everything I am  
Because you loved me _

_You were always there for me  
The tender wind that carried me  
A light in the dark shining your love into my life  
You've been my inspiration  
Through the lies you were the truth  
My world is a better place because of you _

_You were my strength when I was weak  
You were my voice when I couldn't speak  
You were my eyes when I couldn't see  
You saw the best there was in me  
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach  
You gave me faith 'coz you believed  
I'm everything I am  
Because you loved me _

_(bis)  
I'm everything I am  
Because you loved me _

Shika: I-Ino-chan…-hugs her- I love you, thank you so much for this. It wasn't troublesome at all.

Ino: -hugs back- Anything for you.

Shika and Ino: -kiss each other-

Aki: -turns off camera before busting out laughing-

Shika and Ino: -break apart and gasp seeing Aki laughing her arse off in a tree not too far away-

Aki: -laughing so hard she falls off tree-

Shika and Ino: O.O

Shika: She always _was_ a klutz.

Ino: True.

Aki: -sits up and wipes tears from eyes- Oh God! That was good!

Ino: Aki! How could you spy on us like that!

Aki: -puts hands on hips in a very Aki-like manner- Because I wouldn't be Aki if I didn't!

Shika: -mumbles- Smart-ass.

Aki: Look who's talking!

Ino: Ok, stop it now, both of you! I don't want another stupid genius argument! And, Aki, you just killed the mood!

Aki: Had I not killed it you both would have some PDA (public displays of affection) that not everyone would like to see, and you would be embarrassed to have someone see.

Shika and Ino: -blushing-

Aki: -smirks- Just as I thought. Now, I have to be off to meet Haru when he gets back from St. Louis. Not to mention –pulls video camera out of bag- I have to show this to DC, Stalker-sama, Haru, and the Konoha Gang!

Shika and Ino: -eyes wide-

Shika: _You what?!_ –starts to chase Aki- Give me that camera!

Ino: -starts chasing her as well- _Aki!! Get back here_

Aki: -sprinting away- Never! –suddenly stops- Bye guys! –teleports away-

Shika and Ino: -look at each other- Oh _shit…_

Aki: -in room- Ah, torturing Shika-kun and Ino-chan is such a sweet, sweet thing.

**

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**AN: So this is a Celine Dion song "Because You Loved Me." Her songs are perfect for sappy love moments. lol Wasn't my best, but it was something. My damn internet kept disconnecting whenever I tried to find the lyrics for this song. I ended up getting it, but I had to skip the entire song part until I did. So it took longer. Grrr, I need better internet fast, but I can't afford the good stuff. This sucks. lol I could be worse off. I could not have Naruto. –faints just thinking about it- **

**Haru: -tries and fails to wake up sister- I know she said I wouldn't show up, but I got home early. As Aki-neechan would say, thanks for reading and please review! **


	8. Papercut

**AN: I've got loads of requests to still do, but I'm in love with Linkin Park right now and had to get this out. Please, no new requests right now!**

**Dedication: All the people that are waiting for their requests to be fulfilled. Sorry!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything except for the plot, and me, lol.**

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At Fancy Dinner In Suna

Aki: Why're we in Suna again? –tugs at lacy spaghetti strap to her black dress-

Ino: -bored in her fancy black dress sitting at table- Because Shikamaru led that mission with Naruto and the others to rescue Gaara…again.

Aki: Oh yeah. –puts finger to chin- Hmm, random thought: we all know Naruto and Gaara have demons inside them, what if they sang "Papercut" by Linkin Park. And for some very odd reason I can imagine Shikamaru doing the rap part. It oddly suits him.

_-CRASH-_

Ino: Wait, NOOOOO!!!

Gaara, Shikamaru, and Naruto: -randomly stand up from their seats of honor at the table and stand on top it as music starts to play-

Shikamaru: -with awesome music video-potential moves and sound-

_Why does it feel like night today?  
Something in here's not right today.  
Why am I so uptight today?  
Paranoia's all I got left  
I don't know what stressed me first  
Or how the pressure was fed  
But I know just what it feels like  
To have a voice in the back of my head  
It's like a face that I hold inside  
A face that awakes when I close my eyes  
A face watches every time I lie  
A face that laughs every time I fall  
(And watches everything)  
So I know that when it's time to sink or swim  
That the face inside is hearing me  
Right underneath my skin _

Naruto: 

_It's like I'm paranoid lookin' over my back  
It's like a whirlwind inside of my head  
It's like I can't stop what I'm hearing within  
It's like the face inside is right beneath my skin_

Shikamaru:

_I know I've got a face in me  
Points out all my mistakes to me  
You've got a face on the inside too and  
Your paranoia's probably worse  
I don't know what set me off first but I know what I can't stand  
Everybody acts like the fact of the matter is  
I can't add up to what you can but  
Everybody has a face that they hold inside  
A face that awakes when I close my eyes  
A face watches every time they lie  
A face that laughs every time they fall  
(And watches everything)  
So you know that when it's time to sink or swim  
That the face inside is watching you too  
Right inside your skin _

Naruto: 

_It's like I'm paranoid lookin' over my back  
It's like a whirlwind inside of my head  
It's like I can't stop what I'm hearing within  
It's like the face inside is right beneath my skin_

_It's like I'm paranoid lookin' over my back  
It's like a whirlwind inside of my head  
It's like I can't stop what I'm hearing within  
It's like the face inside is right beneath my skin _

Shikamaru: 

_The face inside is right beneath your skin_

_The face inside is right beneath your skin_

_The face inside is right beneath your skin_

Gaara:

_The sun goes down  
I feel the light betray me_ (Repeat until end)

Naruto:

_It's like I'm paranoid lookin' over my back  
It's like a whirlwind inside of my head  
It's like I can't stop what I'm hearing within  
It's like the face inside is right beneath my skin_ (Repeat until end)

Shikamaru, Naruto, and Gaara: -sit back in seats silently-

Aki: -erupts in mad applause-

Everyone: -follows her lead-

Ino: -glares- Aki!!!

Aki: Oh shit I forgot I wasn't going to do that anymore! But atleast I got to hear one of my favorite songs sung by three of my favorite characters!!!

Shikamaru: -calmly walks over to Aki; with venom in voice- Aki, I think Gaara and I need to have a word with you…-trails off menacingly-

Aki: O.o Shika, -looks over to Gaara who cracks his knuckles- Gaara-sama, please remain calm. You're at an official dinner.

Naruto: -oblivious and drinking in compliments from others-

Shikamaru and Gaara: …-not caring-

Aki: -sweating- Umm…

Shikamaru and Gaara: -advance on Aki and pull her to her feet discreetly-

Ino: -muffling maniacal laughter-

Aki: -light bulb- AHA!!! I got it! You better not touch me or I'll use my random author powers of d00m on you!!!

Shika and Gaara: -sigh in defeat-

Aki: Ha! PWNED!!!

Ino: -comforts Shika-

Gaara: -returns to emotionless self and pretends this never happened-

Aki: Well, one good thing came out of this!

Shika, Gaara, and Ino: WHAT?!

Aki: I learned that I was right that Shika can rap! Sakura, you owe me 20 bucks!

Sakura: Damnit!

Aki: Hehehe the random is back, baby!

--

**AN: Pointless, stupid, I know. But I love that song! I may do a drabble/oneshot for it as well. Like what I did for "Crawling." I don't know. So anyways, hope you liked it and please review!**


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